And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So here I am, sexting at work.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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