and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
