I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
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Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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