yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
