im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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