Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
