i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
