is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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