so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
