Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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