it wasn't lemon gatorade
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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