Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize