I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
