Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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