It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
