i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
