bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girls should come with a carfax report
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
