They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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