OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
