he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
