Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
