i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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