oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
