Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
