i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
