soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
