I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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