We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize