Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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