Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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