my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
