idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
