bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize