You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
