Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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