Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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