hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
