I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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