North Korea, Best Korea!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
