You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
