Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
