whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
