he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
