The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
