I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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