College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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