i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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