I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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