I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
