found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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