Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
