I'm going to jail i love you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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