An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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