and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
