I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
