so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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