I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
